autumn-gloomies ...

If I heard the weather right, sunset is at 5:30 tonight. Really.

I SO dislike going to work and coming home again in the dark.

Closing my eyes and waiting for spring.

these are fun! put yours in the comments section

1. Your first (or preferred) name? Trinka

2. What color pants are you wearing? cream
(pants in the American sense ... thank you! ... for you foreigners ... "trousers" please!)

3. What are you listening to right now? the washing machine

4. What was the last thing you ate? oatmeal ... am I exciting or WHAT?

5. Do you wish on stars? nope ... why go for the counterfeit when I have the real thing?

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my mom

7. Favorite drink? diet pepsi

8. Favorite sport? Does Dance Revolution count? Or Othello? :)

9. What was the last movie you watched? March of the Penguins -- SO good!

10. Favorite day of the year? don't have one

11. What was your favorite toy as a child? Fred-Shep ... the incredibly shabby stuffed dog

12. Summer or winter? Summer

13. Hugs or kisses? Have to take hugs ... since I've never tried kisses!

14. Chocolate or Vanilla? Smooth, rich, dark chocolate...mmmmm

15. When was the last time you cried? Wednesday night prayer meeting ... God is so good to us

16. What is under your bed? Plastic containers with extra sheets, and picture matting supplies

17. What did you do last night? Went for a walk with L., and did laundry (see singles have such exciting lives!)

18. Favorite smell? tie between bread baking and lilies of the valley

19. Happy In life? Very blessed ... BETTER than happy

20. Butter or salted popcorn? Butter

21. Favorite car? any one that's running and paid for

22. Favorite Flower? lilies of the valley and lilacs

23. How many years at your current job? 10

24. Favorite day of the week? Sunday

25. What did you do on your last birthday? Taco Bell with T.

2.26

Is what I paid for gas today. Woo hoo! They almost givin' the stuff away. :)

(I'm so easily indoctrinated. I remember whining and refusing to buy when it went over $2/gallon!)

Condo management got my heat fixed. I do enjoy a working heating system!

Got in a little aerobic exercise yesterday before Bible study and pilates afterwards ... so I get partial credit. :)

Looking forward to house-sitting for T. this weekend, so I'll probably walk Riverside Park if the weather's nice. That's 4.5 miles round trip, so it makes a great outing, and the trees are beautiful.

Trinka

This is what I would really like to do ...

I'd like to put together a really good directory of poetry & quotes, catalogued by topic and Scripture reference.

I have several books like this ... but almost universally they've got a few good quotes/poems, with many more ordinary ones, that seem to be just chosen to fill up the category.

Meanwhile, I've got these wonderful, relatively obscure books of poetry, hymns, sermons and letters. And the material in them is disappearing from public view.

I want to put together a reference tool that will get this stuff acessible again, in a format where you can find what you want, when you want it.

This morning, I was skimming Mountain Rain - a collection of poems by Amy Carmichael. (She was a missionary who ran orphanages in India. She never married, and her whole life was consumed by rescuring children who had been sold into prostitution in the Hindu temples, and raising them to know the Lord. She spent her last few years confined to bed after an injury, and during that time, produced such wonderful writing.

There was so much wonderful stuff in this book ... yet I know when I NEED something on a particular topic, it will be so hard to remember where I saw it, and go back and find it.

Hence this cataloguing-project idea. I'm thinking of maybe doing it in an Access database, but if anyone out there has tacked something like this, I'd be interested to hear how you did it! I'd like to post it on a web page, so it would be available as I'm updating it. (Think of www.cyberhymnal.org ... only with more diverse topics, and done with poetry & quotes as well as hymns).

Suggestions anyone?

(note ... any poetry that rhyms the words "sorrow" and "tomorrow" is automatically excluded simply for annoying me). :)

Trinka

a lesson in punctuation

I think it's time to admit that the furnace in the condo is NOT working ... I keep listening to pings in the radiator, and assuming that heat will be forthcoming. It's not happening. Gotta do something about this soon ... there's only so many layers one can wear and still function! :)

Saw this little punctuation lesson, and thought it was great!
****************************
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Jane
****************************
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jane

off in my own little world

I got a walkman-type CD player to wear to the gym, and tried it out last night.

I really found myself enjoying the isolation of being swimming in my own little pool of music amidst the crowds. It cut down some on the hectic-ness of the gym atmosphere. Gonna keep doing this, I think. Now I just need to find some kind of belt or arm-band to hold the thing, so I'm not having to hang on to it the whole time!

Along the lines of music ... I was looking up some poems for Thursday's Bible study, and ran across this. I've tried to learn instruments, and to sing ... and while I can master the bare-bones-basics, I'm just not built to get much farther than that. There are so many nuances that are just lost on me. I appreciated this poem this morning! :)

To a Mute Musician

So music was ”left out” of your makeup.
You were just “not there”
When music was handed out.

It may be true
That you cannot sing, nor play an instrument.
Perhaps the mysteries of counterpoint and harmony
Will always be a closed book to you.

But I wonder
If that is all there is
To being a musician?
I think perhaps the violin
Is not conscious of the music
That lies hidden in its heart;
Yet countless multitudes
Rejoice
In the melodies that flow from it
When the Master takes the bow
And plays upon it.

I wonder
If you may not have lived
Closer to the Master of all Music
Than you know.
You have allowed Him to take
Life’s dissonances,
And in you to resolve them
Into celestial concord.

You may not hear
The music that He makes;
Yet others hear the song
And bring Him praise.

One day
I think you will take your place
Among the truly great musicians
Of His court;
For you,
Who may not know earth’s music,
Have learned the Song
Of heaven.

-- E. Margaret Clarkson

my gets-paid-for-HIS-writing brother ...

who hasn't bothered to create a blog HIMSELF, wrote me this morning to ask why I haven't been updating mine.

So here I am. :)

It's a fairly busy season at work, so I'm not getting here as often as I planned.

Due to the ladies' Bible study, I didn't get any exercising done yesterday except pilates. I am trying to re-create that habit, though, so it was good to get it in.

Tonight I plan to get myself to the gym. I bought myself a walkman CD player, and am looking forward to trying it out.

For last night's study, I was doing some reading on the blessings God brings through dark times.

Isaiah 45:
2 "I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars.
3 "I will give you the treasures of darkness And hidden wealth of secret places, So that you may know that it is I, The LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.

There are things we learn in the darkness that we can't learn anywhere else. And when we find these things hidden in times of sorrow, we KNOW it's got to be from God ... that He is in it.

When Israel was wandering in the wilderness, we see that He gave them a pillar of fire to lead them in the night:

Ex 13:21 The LORD was going before them in a pillar of cloud by day to lead them on the way, and in a pillar of fire by night to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night.

He didn't leave them in the dark without help ... He showed Himself strong to them, and to the outside world that was watching ... this totally un-natural guidance in dark times was a strong proof to them of God's intervention in His people's lives.

A few other Scriptures that have blessed me as I've considered this:

Da 2:22 "It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, And the light dwells with Him.

The Lord gives songs in the night:

Ps 42:8 The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life.

Isa 42:16 "I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, In paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them And rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, And I will not leave them undone."

Ps 91:5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night, Or of the arrow that flies by day;
He reassured them of His love for them, and at the same time, struck terror into the hearts of their enemies, by providing unnatural light and guidance in the night.

Isa 26:9 At night my soul longs for You, Indeed, my spirit within me seeks You diligently; For when the earth experiences Your judgments The inhabitants of the world learn righteousness.

Ps 130:6 My soul waits for the Lord More than the watchmen for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning.

Ps 63:6 When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches,

well, THAT's done

This is the first time I've ever had a car with a door-and-trunk-unlocker doo-dad (I mean, other than the key). :)

It also has one of those panic buttons. I just KNEW eventually I'd hit the thing and be one of those people everyone stares at in parking lots.

Got that one out of the way this morning at the grocery store before work.

Fortunately I got it shut off before too many people noticed!

This morning the greeter at the store told me she thought I was losing weight.

I found this interesting not because I actually HAVE lost weight (still fighting the battle). I was wearing the "have you lost weight" capri pants. (of which, I now have 4 pairs ... for that very reason).

I found it intersting because she remembered me.

Whenever anyone says, "how are you," I have been making a concerted effort for the last few years to stop. Look them in the eye, and give a pleasant answer. Then ask them the same question and really listen to what they say.

And this lady remembered me.

I live my life in such a state of rush - always trying to fit as much into every free moment as possible. Yet how long does it take to stop and have a pleasant conversation with the lady at the grocery store?

Maybe 30 seconds?

It's worth it.

Got to the gym last night, though I skipped the bicep machine because the incredibly sweaty guy before me hadn't cleaned it off, and it was just too gross to deal with. :)

I was reading in the section of the Old Testament (Numbers, maybe? Forgot to look. This chronological Bible gets me confused about where I'm reading sometimes!).

The Jews were on their journey from Egypt to Israel, and the Lord had them send spies into Israel to bring back some of the fruit of the land. And it was amazing -- bigger than they could have possibly imagined.

I'm also studying the fruit of the Spirit in the Christian's life - love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control.

I wonder if God also causes people who aren't yet residents of the promised land (who haven't yet given their lives to God), to come amongst Christians and look around a little.

Do they get a taste of the fruit in our lives? Is it so extraordinary that they leave still thinking about it? Does it show them that this is a place that God has blessed? Do they want to move in?

Something I can ask for in my life!

Got the chance to have a long walk at Riverside Park in Grand Rapids last Friday. It was just so lovely - the leaves were turning, and the sun was sparkling on the river. I saw a blue heron catching his dinner, and a duck and a squirrel arguing over the same acorn (duck won). Such a beautiful world we live in!

(Yes. I admit it. I do live within driving distance of Grand Rapids...Have I mentioned my doberman and gun collection? Gotta tell you all about them one day).

Trinka

a quick update for those who don't watch the news ...

For a story on the upstanding protestors in Toledo:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,172437,00.html

excuse me ... toledo?

When visiting skinheads are the well-manned people in town, you've got serious issues.

Heard on the news over the weekend,
"there were out-of-towners instigating things."

Know what? No amount of instigation would cause me to knock down the doors on an old man's house. No amount of instigation would make me think, "hey, let's throw bricks at this ambulence window."

Nope.

Wouldn't happen.

"But you don't know what it is to live in poverty, and be looked down on."

You might be surprised. :)

Nevertheless ... no temptation to trash my neighborhood or hurt old, sick people.

why pop music doesn't offend me

At the gym this morning (patting self on back), I was listening to a classic rock station they had playing.

I am not musical ... I have no gifts in this area other than a love for poetry, which translates into a love for lyrics ... but I'm not sensitive to tone like many are.

So, this song is playing, and I thought, "I should just try listening to the words, and seeing what it's about."

This is what non-musical me got from it:

Out here in the fields
(so far, so good, right? Sounds like the start of a ballad or something.)

blah blah blah my eels

yep ... that's the closest I could come to picking out actual words. From this point, it got totally unintelligible, until the line:

I need to ask forgiveness

OK. What for? Maybe the eels were served sureptitiously to guests or something?

Oh well ... so much for my foray into pop culture. At least the music isn't planting disgusting stuff in my brain - I don't even understand it. :)

Though as I was leaving there was one playing with a man saying again and again,
I've got her under my thumb.

Hmmm ... this sounds to me like a rock singer who probably does NOT get many dates. :)

Male rock singer: "wanna go out Friday night?"

Lady remembering the "under my thumb" song): "No. I was planning to use a do-it-yourself eyeball transplant kit I got through the internet."

:)

Anyhow, I know we bloggers are expected to comment on pop culture. I suppose that's the best you're gonna get from me.

Trinka

has anyone seen an escaped cricket?

I just couldn't resist ... really.

At the funeral home Sunday, I was visiting with B.'s parents.

B. is my upstairs neighbor.

They asked if I had heard loud pounding coming from B.'s apartment late one night.

Yes. In fact, I had.

They went on to say that B. has a strong dislike for bugs, and she was trying to kill a stubborn cricket one night - by pounding it with a broom handle.

Now, I have no particular animosity towards crickets, in fact, I like the sound they make. I really couldn't resist the opportuinity ...

Monday morning, I left the following note on B.'s door:

Have you by any chance seen my pet cricket? He got away a few days ago,
and I know they tend to travel upwards ... Trinka :)

I thought, just in case she didn't automatically realize that people didn't normally keep crickets as pets, the smiley face would have led her in that direction.

Apparently not ... she called her father in a panic, wondering what on earth she could tell me about the cricket assassination. Fortunately her father remembered the previous day's conversation!

On a more serious note, I was reading the following news article this morning: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20051011/D8D62SSG3.html

Stevie Wonder is lamenting the lack of love in our society.

It's amazing to me that people SEE the problem, and assume it must be tackled by addressing the surface issues.

Yet, there seems to be no consideration of the roots!

The issue isn't people being rude on the bus, or not holding the door for little old ladies.

The issue is that hearts are becoming more and more self-involved, and respect for human life is dwindling.

Why is this?

Not because we don't have plenty of exhortations to love each other and be kind to each other. The culture is quite well-supplied with that kind of message.

It's because our hearts need a radical change, in order to have others' needs ahead of our own. Society won't be changed, unless the change first starts with God working in hearts. That's the ONLY answer. (Though I still think voting Republican is a good plan.) :)

Got to the gym last night, and didn't feel sick. Yippee! The body seems to be cooperating again.

Trinka

the time is short and eternity is long

The service yesterday was a real blessing ... so hard to see a casket that small ... yet what a testimony that little girl had of love for God and for others.

This little girl knew she was right with God. Her obituary described the events of Friday afternoon as her "stepping off the gravel and into the presence of the Lord."

It prompts me to ask ... gentle-reader ... what if it had been you?

Today you're sitting today in front of that computer ... breathing.

What if tomorrow, you're not?

One of us in this little e-community will be the next one of us to die.

It's the ultimate statistic ... one out of every one dies.

We'll stand before our creator, and no matter how many good things we've done, we'll be faced with the truth that it's not enough.

The Bible is clear that there is a way to be right with God. But it's also clear that the answer isn't found in anything we can accomplish on our own.

Romans 3:23 says that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."

So we're all standing on common ground ... good people and murderers; hypocrites and humble.

What does that common ground earn us?

Romans 6:23 says, "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord."

So, my wages ... what I've earned by my sin (ANY sin), is death.

BUT

So thankful for that "but" ...

God offers sinners the gift of eternal life - not on the basis of our merit (thankfully), but rather through Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

God's gift of freedom from the penalty we earned by our sin did not come cheap.

The penalty had to be paid, and only One sacrifice would be sufficient -- His own Son.

A gift only belongs to me if I accept it, right? If I leave that bouquet of roses sitting on the front steps, they're never really mine. It's the same with this gift God offers us.

Romans 10:9-11 says, "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, "WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."

This is the whole theme of the Bible summed up in a neat package -- we are incapable of making ourselves worthy of God's attention ... yet He loves us, and desires to make a way for us to come to Him.

The one Bible verse that almost everyone knows sums it up so beautifully! John 3:16 -
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Interested in learning more about these things? There's a great, easy-to-read book called The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus by John R. Cross (it's available from Amazon at - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1890082147/103-4775512-5355038?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance

End of preach for today.

Exercise-related accountability - I got to the gym over the weekend, and have been walking. Last night was ladies' Bible study, and so nothing else got done after work.

Trinka

heavy hearts here

We've just had our second unexpected death in the past month. The first was a young mom over Labor Day weekend; the second was a nine-year-old girl yesterday afternoon.

Both families are involved in many, many ministries at the church ... both are very dear to many hearts.

This is not outside God's providence. He will work all things for the good of those who love Him.

But if you think to pray for these dear ones, and that we will know how to stand in the gap for them ... it would be appreciated.

Got to the gym this morning ... still feel really sick while working out, but I lessened the weights by one increment, and that seemed to help some.

Had a great time last night at a get-together learning more about Answers in Genesis' new museum http://www.answersingenesis.org - I'm hoping to go down and see it when it opens.

Trinka

care for a side of hypocrisy with that humble pie?

I've been exercising (though not to the gym ... due to this sick-to-my-stomach situation that doesn't seem to go away), and been reading - particularly in 1 Peter, as I get ready for the Monday night ladies' Bible study.

I've been thinking about sin lately. I know ... I know ... not a pleasant subject!

But nonethless, it's been on my mind.

As I mentioned in the last post, I've been listening in my car to a series of sermons on Romans by Charles Leiter (http://www.lakeroadchapel.org - I don't think the Romans series is posted, but some of his other messages are). He's mentioned several times the idea that the greatest sins are those we commit against God ... forgetting Him, choosing others above Him, etc.

Also this week, someone confessed something to me that I found shocking.

In praying about that situation, and considering the messages I'm listening to, it's had me examining my attitudes towards sin.

Why did I find the confession shocking? Because I think of some sins as worse than others. But my standards are so different from God's!

Actually, it's MY sins that are worst. Preoccupation, seeking entertainment, and focus on my "to do" list regularly put God at the back of my mind. I can go entire days without involving Him in my life.

The shame is MINE. My sins are persistent, and on-going, and rarely confessed or acknowledged.

This song, from Fernando Ortega's new CD, has been woven through my thinking on this:
(You can listen at: http://www.fernandoortega.com) It's talking not so much about the shame associated with sin, as that of just human-ness. However, it's figuring into my meditations on this subject in a way I haven't quite got a handle on just yet.

SHAME

Though I am weak
Sometimes weary
In times of trial
I hide my face
In the balance
Judge me wholly
Please don’t judge me
By my shame

In dark hours
Of confrontation
When words may fall
Too soon to unsay
Don’t mistake them
For my true meaning
They are measures
Of my shame

I have tried to
Live life humbly
Not a coward
Not in vain
When my meekness
Overcomes me
Remember me
Not my shame
Not my shame

I am small
And self-conscious
Every mirror
Reflects the grain
Judge my essence
By my kinships
Remember me
Not my shame

I am weak
Sometimes weary
Sometimes small
I hide away
When my hours
Are all accounted
Please don’t bind me
To my shame

I have tried to
Live life humbly
Not a coward
Not in vain
When my meekness
Overcomes me
Remember me
Not my shame
Not my shame(repeat)

In reality, it's purely the mercy of God that has kept me. That's it.

God, in His providence, chose to weave together circumstances in such a way that I didn't end up in this other one's shoes. The wall between me and shocking behavior is one God erected, and one that my heedlessness could tear down in a second, if He left me to myself.

Thankful for His protection, and desiring to be constantly reminded that it's He who is responsible for anything worthwhile in my life,

Trinka

which is worse?

I didn't get any exercise yesterday, and it appears none will be coming today, as both days were/are packed to the brim. But I did walk 5 miles or so Saturday, and I'm hoping it will compensate at least somewhat!

I drove up near Cadillac to pick up a friend Sunday afternoon. The trees were starting to change up there, and it was just beautiful.

I was listening to a series of sermons on Romans, and it was a blessing. The one that was playing this morning was talking about the difference between ungodliness and unrighteousness.

If we were to ask people what sins are "worst" ...what would they say?

Almost universally, they (I) would focus first on things that injur others .... then on crimes related to property, etc.

However, that isn't God's order at all!

The first and greatest command is to love the Lord with all the heart, soul, mind and strength.

Hmmm ... wouldn't that mean that violating this command is the greatest sin?

Good for me to remember that God's priorities are different than my own ... that no matter how much I think I'm a "good person" ... because I don't do ___________ ... He knows that I violate this greatest commandment ALL THE TIME.

Still needing to be changed!
Trinka

can you believe I drove to McDonalds for free internet

just to post pictures of my car?

Yep. I did. :)

Here she is - her name is "Lil #5" (the first two Lils were Ford Escorts, the second two were Chevy Cavaliers.) Lil #1 had a most glorious demise, as she caught fire, and drove herself into the side of our house ... but that's a story for another time. :) (and I'll even scan pictures to accompany it)