things that only make sense early in the morning

Self #1
"I've got a cold, I don't WANT to go to work today."

Self #2
"You've got to. You need to get the bulletin done. Plus, you won't feel any better if you stay home."

Self #1
"Don't WANNNNA get up."

Self #2
"Doesn't really matter what you want, does it?"

Self #1
"Suppose not. But if I'm going, I'm going to wear JEANS."

Self #2
"OK, jeans it is. But good luck trying to explain this reasoning after 5:30 a.m."