Saturday, March 03, 2007

the curse continues


I tried again last night.

"What did you try?"
the eager blog-reading-community asks ...

"I tried to make Jell-O"
is my answer, "specifically, finger Jell-O."

"Um," the slightly puzzled blog-reading-community answers,
"and why is this blog-worthy?"


Because I can't make Jell-O.

Never have been able to.

Jell-O ... when made by me ... is a synonym for "overly-flavored, viscous, Kool-Aid."

When I was a kid, my mom made me finger Jell-O. I was prone to nose-bleeds, and someone, somewhere, had told her it would help. I don't know whether it DID help or not, but I very much enjoyed the treatment. :)

Sometimes, I get a real hankering for the stuff. I usually just scoop up plates of it at church potlucks, but last night I attempted to fabricate my own supply.

I'd have had better luck producing cold fusion.

Just don't EVEN tell me, "the water wasn't hot enough." or "you didn't stir it long enough" ...

I've tried all your remedies. Boiling is boiling. Dissolved is dissolved.

There is some kind of mysterious chemical, electro-magnetic, something.

Some people can't wear cheap jewelry.
Others are allergic to seafood.
Still others get claustrophobic on elevators.

I can't make Jell-O.

Anyone have a use for a 9x13 pan full of red syrup? I'd give it away cheap.

The funny thing is ... one of my readers has occasionally offered me a job in an industry at which ingredients are combined at high temperatures, and expected to solidify thereafter. I'm guessing ... if I were employed there ... within days they'd have nothing but vats and vats of science-defying sludge.

It's (still) snowing, and I'm looking forward to a quiet day of studying. I'm working on a study for D.'s class on the 12 tribes of Israel and the class my pastor is teaching on dispensationalism, and another study on John. Life is good. :) If I get my bathroom and kitchen cleaned too ... well ... there's a bonus.

And I suppose I'd better figure out what to do with that pan of ... well ... whatever-it-is.

Pssst ... if anyone is thinking of supplying me with a finger Jell-O fix ... let me just say ... raspberry and black cherry are FAR superior to any other flavors. :)

2 comments:

Clifford Jeffery said...

What yer problem is here is yer altitude. See, Jell-o won't set at yer altitude there in GR. Ya need to find a deep hole and make yer jell-o down there. Let me know if you need any more help.

Trinka said...

that's gotta be it! you're brilliant! (particularly when you've got your teeth in, and spit doesn't fly out 'a your mouth when you talk.)

:) Where IS that shovel ... oh yes ... buried under 4 feet of snow ... that's right. ;)